My Faith Journey
—Anonymous
As a child, growing up in a broken family.
I grew up with my loving grandparents who raised me from what they knew until my teenage then I was with my mother, yet there is nothing I want to change. Because of the suffering & trials this lead me to become stronger in faith.
Growing in up in different religion taught me that this is normal. That this is the way. Kind of sort of mixed. I was born raised by catholic/christians environment. Also exposed to Muslim and other religions. Been in church looking for community yet I felt something is lacking and I just don’t feel to fit in even if my flesh wanted too.
I’ve been in a destructive path since I was young.
Looking for love. From my parents, from other people. All I want is to be loved.
I struggle with lust.
I was an idolator of material things. My world just got involve in trusting my own ways until one day our place where we stayed with my mother her business that operated only for 1 month got caught on fire. We lost the money that was put in one basket. After that I realized that every closed door is a protection. That trials turned into blessings a testimony. Little by little Yah is calling me to a place where He wants me to know what truly love means.
Still I was stubborn. Way back before I was addicted to pornography and even masturbation. I was still when I was living with my boyfriend(now my husband) come to the point that It’s crazy like totally it’s not good. Like nothing fulfilling unless if i do it with watching this video. It comes to the point it feels demonic already. But getting married one thing I told myself a plan that I want to stop doing these things like pornography because it’s not good and I don’t know that much anyone before, until a woman was used by TMH and I was moved by her testimony that seed was planted in me. I was so lost. I was on my way to hell unknowingly but many times I didn’t know realize that The Most High keep calling me out.
It’s truly by faith that a person can be healed from any addiction or bondage. But it has to hate that sin and to truly change.
I remember it’s cripping in me again in my thoughts it started to do it again but I remember it exactly praying kneel down I was calling back then was praying and I said in the name of Jesus but it’s the faith that healed me. It one milliseconds that desire went pufff.. it’s so crazy. But how important in the heart to truly want to change and cut it off.
Yet I didn’t know what truly love means until The Most High called me to His Son Yahusha.
After I got married after few years that my faith I have right now shaken my marriage.
My husband believed that I got influence my people in social media that I start questioning things about religion about faith.
As a husband who is devoted catholic suddenly his wife (me) changed from catholic to searching for clarity and answers what truly the Scripture is.
We went to a Catholic Church talked to a priest about our situations. I have sort of questions and then I told him some details of the scripture the pattern and priest told me I should not so detailed in the Scripture and this hits me the moment how tradition of men blinded people are. And it grieves me so hard.
Hearing a lot of voices in media until I get so tired and one sister told me to let the Set Apart Spirit guide you.
After that, little by little I start to ask and pray to let Set Apart Spirit guide me into the truth instead of following denominations just to fit in or running back and forth whom to listen that it’s just in front of me the Word the Scripture. Yahusha’s Commandments.
I know it’s not easy for my husband to see the changes in me yet as wife I want my house in order, cut the generational choices and curses within bloodline.
From believing that Hebrews are the country of Israel, they are the head in this world (something ain’t right not aligning in the Scripture) , God loves the sinners but hate sin(like where does this coming from? I believe it before because it’s what most people say it without even testing the spirit behind it) , trinity (clearly opposing the Scripture that TMH is One) , going first to the church to know The Most High (that I can have relationship with Him wherever I am just open my Bible and seek Him sincerely), like Jesus is the Name of the Son of TMH translated to English that Joshua sounds more like that Jesus. Like the name was changed. A lot of lies that was passed on generations to generations to cause hatred sort of these things.
Unlearning the doctrines that was once taught to me as growing up was very hard yet I’m beyond grateful for all these trials I’m facing right now. Counting trials as joy indeed. I’ve been running back and forth to know all at once until I get tired and just wait for Yah to revealed it to me through His Ruach.
Knowing who the true Hebrews exposed a lot in my heart that was hidden that darkness needs to be exposed in the light.
The importance as a sojourner having faith like in Matthew 15:21-28
I don’t know how my journey next step is with my life how this will end but I trust Yahuah that nothing is impossible with Him. He can restore everything.
